Even the Avengers Need Good Facilitation

Why teams need shared experiences to see themselves clearly.

Let's avoid this at the next company retreat.

The Avengers should have it easy, superpowers, a clear mission, unlimited tech. But despite all that, Iron Man and Captain America still fight over what it really means to “save the world.”

All good leaders know the value of bringing together people with complementary skills. But if you've ever worked on a team, especially under stress, you have likely experienced a similar drama of the Avengers movies. What makes or breaks the mission isn't just talent, it's how well the team understands itself.

That’s where strong facilitation comes in.

My favorite kind of facilitation helps people see themselves, and their team, more clearly. Not through lectures, but through experiential learning. When designed right, a simple activity can lower defenses, spark laughter, and surface insights that would take months to get to through conversation alone.

We are creatures of habit. The same dynamics that show up in your work meetings? They will show up in a game where the team crosses a fake river.

• Who leads? Who stays back?

• Who argues? Who gets ignored?

• Do we charge ahead and make mistakes? Or overthink and stall?

These questions are hard to explore when they feel like personal attacks. But in play? They’re safe, honest, and fuel for growth.

In my experience, there are two essential roles a facilitator plays when helping teams see themselves:

1. Lowering our natural barriers to insight and change.

2. Creating clarity through a shared language.

1. Breaking Down Barriers with Intention

“Only when compassion is present will people allow themselves to see the truth.” — A.H. Almaas

At a former job, I facilitated youth-police dialogues. Trust was practically nonexistent on either side. The officers often only interacted with teens during a crisis or arrest. The young people often only saw police as a threat.

One of our most effective tools? A simple conversation activity. Two circles, rotating partners, short conversations with questions like:

• What’s one lesson you learned from your neighborhood growing up?

• Who’s someone you look up to?

• What’s something people wouldn’t know about you just by looking?

They’re not “deep” questions, but they are humanizing.

That 15 minutes of dialogue changed the tone of every workshop that followed. You could feel the room soften. Instead of chunking up in two groups during breaks, people were talking and laughing, and finding common ground.

The truth is, it’s natural to be defensive. It’s natural to have conflict. But when those dynamics go unspoken, or worse, unacknowledged, they fester. Teams get stuck in quiet disengagement, slow progress, meetings where everyone agrees but nothing gets done.

Good facilitation doesn’t eliminate conflict, it makes space for it. It encourages people to open up, not check out.

2. Creating Shared Language So We Can Actually Work Together

“What the caterpillar calls the end, the rest of the world calls a butterfly.” — Lao Tzu

Let’s say your two roommates ask you to buy a pumpkin on Halloween. You do. But when you come back they look disappointed.

“We both wanted a pumpkin!” 

They argue, throw the pumpkin out, and stop talking for two days.

Later, while eating leftover Halloween candy, you find out one wanted to make pie, the other wanted to carve a jack-o’-lantern. One pumpkin would’ve worked, they just never clarified what they really needed.

This phenomenon is everywhere in team life. You say, “We need better communication.” Everyone nods. But…

• Jefferson thinks that means clearer email summaries.

• Martin thinks it means being more honest about capacity.

• Silvia thinks it means practicing more respectful listening in brainstorms.

Same phrase, different meanings. That’s where facilitation becomes essential, not just to talk, but to build a shared language.

Facilitators help groups:

• Surface unspoken assumptions

• Translate vague feedback into action steps

• Align on definitions and values

• Document decisions in ways that stick

This clarity isn't just nice, it’s powerful. It saves time, reduces drama, and strengthens trust.

The Bottom Line

If you want your team to be effective, don’t just invest in tools. Invest in how your team understands itself.

A skilled facilitator helps lower the defenses we all bring to work, and helps raise the clarity we all need to thrive.

If you can create:

• Lower barriers to insight and change, and

• Clarity through shared language

You’ll see the difference. Not in theory, but in how your team shows up, for each other, and for the work.